Unlock the Secrets to Seamless Dating - Start with Seating!

Ever wonder the best way to ensure she says 'yes' to a date? Start with seating—find out how inside.

Texting is something that comes up all the time.

People are always asking, how much do I text? When do I text? And what do I say when I text them?

But I wanna take a step back and look at a technique called seating.

Seating is what you're going to do before you even get the phone number.

And I think this is the most important part of actually texting people, is going into this idea of seating and doing this properly.

Now the really basic simple concept here is that you're always gonna set up a date before you get a phone number.

If you can remember that, you're doing well.

The more complex version of it is the entire technique of seating.

What you're gonna do is when you get into a conversation, you're gonna make a recommendation for a place that you think they might enjoy going.

And it's just a recommendation.

You're not inviting them to come along with you.

You're just telling them about the place, what they might like about it, what you might like about it, any stories that you have about it.

Later on in the conversation, if you see that this person's interested in you and you've shown them you're interested in them, then you're gonna invite them to come out with you.

I wanna pick a particular place and I wanna pick a particular night.

By doing that, I'm helping to minimize flaking.

I wanna find out if they're available that night to go out.

The way I suggest doing it is like this, say, pick a place, like for instance, there's a bar in Los Angeles called Harvard and Stone.

So you might say something like, "Hey, this Thursday night I'm going down to Harvard and Stone.

"If you'd like to come along, think you'd enjoy it."

What will happen is you'll get one of a few answers.

The first is a yes, in which case you're going to say, "Great, let's exchange information "and I'll text you the night before."

The other is that they'll say, "I'm busy that night, "but I can hang out like on Friday or Saturday," or something like that.

That's great, that's also a yes.

Essentially they're saying, "I am busy that night, "but I'd like to hang out with you."

They're going out of their way to hang out with you by letting you know that there are other nights that they are available.

The next thing that could happen is they could say no or ignore you, and it's a no.

What you should do is continue talking.

The conversation's not over, you just may have misread something or you didn't build enough value, it happens all the time.

Just continue working at it, hanging out, talking, making her comfortable, and adding value to the conversation and then you can even ask again later.

The next thing that could happen is that they say, "I can't make it that night," or "I have to work."

There's some excuse, but there's no rescheduling on their part.

In my opinion, that's a no.

What I want them to do is go out of their way to hang out.

That tells me that I've done a good enough job building enough value or attraction or whatever it is that I'm doing.

I've built enough of that to get them to hang out with me because they're rescheduling.

In this case, they weren't, right?

They just said, "I'm busy that night," or "I have to work that night."

That to me is a no, and it means you should go back to the same thing I said before, which is where you're gonna build value, you may have misread something and just keep going and you can invite them again later.

So when you get a yes, then you're gonna say, "Great, "let's exchange information and I'll text you "on Tuesday night," or whatever the night before you you're gonna go out is.

There's no particular rule about it.

I think the night before is a great time to give someone all the information just so they have to plan for the next day.

Again, you did all the work in the time it took to get the phone number.

That's when you did all the work to make sure that they wanna hang out with you.

You don't do it over text messaging.

All the text messages in the world are not going to work if they're not interested in hanging out with you.

So get them interested in hanging out with you by practicing all of the skills that lead up to getting a phone number so well that you're an interesting person to them.

Once you have their phone number, you're just gonna text them stuff about logistics.

You're gonna let them know where to go, where there's parking, and make it as easy as humanly possible for them to get there.

Because you really wanna meet up in person.

Playing games over text might be fun and you're welcome to do that, but it's not necessary.

And I just want you to recognize that it's flair.

In fact, for students who are new to this, I suggest not sending many text messages.

I suggest trying to meet up with her or the person you're interested in in as few texts as humanly possible.

Once you can minimize the amount of text that you can send, you can have fun with texting.

I have lots of friends who really like to have fun with texting.

They like to play games on the phone.

But I want you to recognize what the minimum amount is first so that you know what's necessary and what's not necessary.

That'll give you an idea of really what you're working with.

Make that a game and then later on, you know when you wanna send some fun stuff, it's just flair and it's something that you enjoy doing.

You just wanna make sure that you're not sending a text for the sole purpose of getting the gratification of receiving a text back.

You're going to get so much more gratification when you hang out with that person you're interested in in real life.

So work on the initial steps as much as you can.

Practice seating as best you can.

When you get that phone number, make sure that you've already set up a date.

Make sure that you text logistics to them.

Help them get there.

Make it easy for them to hang out with you and then save any conversations that you could have over text messages for when you're in person.

They're going to carry more emotional weight when you're in person and that's really what's important.

So if you get a text from this person that you're interested in over the week, send back something to finish the conversation with them, but don't keep it going indefinitely.

Just tell them, "I can't wait to hang out "this Thursday night.

"We'll talk about this then.

"I'm busy right now."

Just let them know that you're going to talk about it, that you're excited to hang out, and that you're gonna see them later on in the week and keep it that.

If you remember to practice seating and you remember to set up a date before you get a phone number, you remember to use text just for logistics.

If you can do this, texting will become something that you don't ever have to worry about.

That's the whole idea.

That's what you should be working towards as you continue to practice this art form.

Good luck.
Alex